moving in together

Moving in Together: Tips to Make it Last

Written by Katie Cullen
Written by Katie Cullen
3rd October 2016 (Last updated on Thursday 16th November 2017)

Moving in Together may not be the fairy-tale that Disney would have you believe but it is a special time and a huge and exciting step in your relationship. It is something that commitment-phobes the world over dread… There’s something very intimate and freakishly personal about sharing your home with someone…. It’s where you keep all of your stuff, it’s where you do the things you don’t want others to see or know about…. And no, we’re not talking about anything sordid… Just, ya know, like sniffing clothes to see if they need washing, putting an empty milk bottle back in the fridge because you can’t be bothered to take the rubbish out or watching Les Mis with the subtitles on so you can sing along. Once you are ready to let your Significant other see this side of you, you are ready to move in together and it will be a new and exciting adventure.

There are rules that will help any couple when embarking on their future as co-habiters. They are simple and effective so heed our words and, before you move house, follow the three rules… Compromise, Space and Communication! Let us elaborate:

The Rules

1. Compromise

A familiar word for anyone that has ever had a row with their SO…. Which is basically everyone... Compromise. At risk of sounding like Dr Phil, compromise is key to a successful and lasting relationship. One of you may want to get a cat, the other wants a dog… Compromise and get a cat-sized dog. One of you might like to eat dinner on your lap, the other at the table…. Compromise and put a TV in the dining room. You get the idea. When you are going to be sharing a home, your lives and your routines need to work in harmony.

2. Space

It is very easy to live in one another’s pockets when you move in together. Certainly, at the beginning, this will be fun. It will be a novelty…. That will soon wear off. You obviously like each other and you enjoy each other’s company, that’s why you have moved in together, but, it is important that you each have your space. Don’t give up your friends or the social life you had before you moved in with your love.

 3. Communication

Again, at risk of sounding like a relationship counsellor here, couples who are sharing their homes must communicate effectively. Don’t just bite your tongue when your SO paints the living room bright red without consulting you or bury your rage when they constantly leave and empty toilet roll on the holder. Speak up… and do it politely in a calm reasonable manner. Not in a fit of screaming temper after weeks or even months of letting the small issues simmer.

Your Place, Their Place or a New Place?

Once you establish that both of you want to move in together for the same reasons (Hint…. Moving in with you SO just because their place is closer to work is not the right reason), you then need to decide who is moving in with whom, or if you’re buying/renting a new house together. Decisions, decisions.

Before you decide on a place, make sure you factor in your commuting time, if your furniture and belongings will fit and what you plan on bringing or getting rid of.

If you decide that your significant other will move in to your house, you need to ensure that they feel like it is their home too, not just somewhere they are staying long term. Ask them to bring their furniture, and redecorate the house together so it reflects both of your personalities. It will take some time to adapt, but try and avoid saying ‘my’ when referring to items in the house, and say ‘’our’’ instead. The same applies if you are moving in with them.

You might decide to move to a new property instead. Moving somewhere new will give you both a fresh start and a blank space to decorate in a way that truly is a blend of both of your personalities from the start.

If you’re worried about how you are going to manage to move your furniture to your significant other’s or a new house, you can always book a reputable removal company through Compare My Move and save up to 70% on your removals. Removal companies can pack for you, dismantle and reassemble your items, taking away all the stress from the move.

Your Place

If you are moving your SO into your place then you may have a tricky task on your hands. It is not easy opening up your home and allowing someone else to make it their home too…. Even if that someone else is the love of your life. It is really important that you don’t get all weird, territorial and possessive about your home and your things once your partner moves in. It is likely that, in moving to yours, they have given up their own place. They want to feel at home so you must be fully prepared to actually SHARE your home.

Tips for Moving SO into your place

  • -It is not ‘MY’ place, it is ‘OURS’
  • -Clear space in the drawers and wardrobes for your other half’s things
  • -Discuss any changes they might like to make to the décor and compromise
  • -Empty the bedside table on their side of the bed so it can be all theirs
  • -Invite their friends around
  • -Dot some of your own personal items about the house
  • -Change the address on all your documents
  • -Discuss having your name added to the tenancy agreement or mortgage
  • -Cook a meal and maybe invite friends round
  • -Fully unpack as quickly as possible

Their Place

If you will be moving into your SO’s house, it can be difficult to make the place feel like yours. You’ve probably been staying there regularly anyway and so it’s not a new territory but you will have a job on your hands changing the way you feel about the place. You are no longer a guest… You are home

Tips for Moving into you SO place

New Place

Lots of couples move into a new home together. This is a good option if you don’t want the home you share together to feel like it only belongs to one of you and the other is just staying there. If you are both moving out of your parents houses then the new place will be new for both of you. This is when compromise will need to come in to play for sure. You will have to make decisions together on the décor and what you will do with each room.

Let’s Talk About Money

Money can often be a huge cause of conflict for couples, and if you’re going to be living together you need to be open about any financial issues you both have.

Will you be splitting the bills 50/50? If one of you has a higher income than the other, will you contribute more to bills and rent? It’s a good idea to open a joint account for all your shared expenses, like bills, rent and house essentials, and then keep your individual accounts for everything else.

Moving Two Households

Moving house requires hiring a removal company. It is something that needs to be done properly and if you are both moving from your current places into a new place then there is a lot of work to do. If you’re ready to start living together make sure you use our moving house checklist for a stress free move. You should also consider hiring a removal company to help you both with the move as you’re more than likely to have more possessions than you realise.

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