When we pass away, we want to make things as seamless as possible for our loved ones. Whilst a will addresses most legal and financial matters. It doesn’t cover everything such as sharing your funeral wishes or personal requests with family members. That’s where a letter of wishes comes in. By including it alongside your will, you can offer clear instructions on these personal matters. This helps ensure your final wishes are honoured.
Our article covers how to write a letter of wishes and the key elements you should consider when writing one. We also clarify where this letter legally stands alongside a will.
What is a Letter of Wishes?
A letter of wishes serves as a thoughtful guide, outlining the writer's preferences for what should happen after their passing. This letter should sit alongside the last will and testament.
Unlike a will, which is legally binding, a letter of wishes is not. It does not require legal oversight but acts as a personal document to convey final requests. These may include funeral arrangements or instructions for distributing sentimental belongings. This helps provide valuable clarity to loved ones during a difficult time.
Does a Letter of Wishes Remain Private?
Unlike a will which becomes a public document, a letter of wishes is private. The only exception is if a will is contested and your letter clarifies the dispute. The executor might feel it's in the best interest of everyone involved to disclose your letter. Or at least the portion of the letter in question.
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What to Include in a Letter of Wishes
There are some common wishes and statements that people include within their letter of wishes.
Here are some of the ones you can include:
Funeral Wishes
A letter of wishes is an ideal document to state your funeral wishes. Your loved ones can then do their best to carry out these wishes without feeling pressured. You may wish to include requests such as burial or cremation, which songs are played at your funeral. You can also include requests for donations to charity.
Guardianship Guidance
One of the more challenging requests is what happens to your children should you pass. Where a will specifies who becomes the guardian of a child or pet. A letter of wishes is a great place to include other parts of this request, due to the lack of legal requirements to fulfil. This can include aspects around personal beliefs and education (i.e. private school).
You may wish to include information on pets. This could be a request such as, "My dog enjoys walks in the local park three times a week. Please keep doing this."
Distribution of Personal Belongings
You can include the distribution of personal belongings or small gifts within your letter. This can include items such as clothes, costume jewellery, and low-value ornaments. You should reference this letter within your will, however.
While you can include high-value items within the letter, it's not recommended. A letter of wishes is not legally binding and means there are no guarantees that the beneficiary will get the item(s). It's worth including your possessions in a will. It ensures the respective beneficiaries receive their inheritance.
Explaining Exclusions or Unequal Distributions
If you believe some of the decisions you make in the will may cause disagreements between beneficiaries you can explain this in your letter. It may help avoid a contesting of the will and provide some peace of mind.
Some of the reasons for clarifications include:
- You have provided financial help in life and feel it is unnecessary to do so in death
- That person isn’t as close as others
- Their circumstances mean they don’t need the inheritance
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How to Write a Letter of Wishes
Here are some of the aspects you should consider when writing your letter of wishes:
Introduction
You should introduce the letter, its purpose, and the will it accompanies. You can speak directly to beneficiaries and loved ones regarding the future and provide them with some closure.
Easy to Read
Try to avoid using complicated words or jargon. The people reading this letter will be going through an emotional time, so you will want the language to be as straightforward as possible.
Organise by Topic
Ensure the letter is broken up into sections. You may feel it necessary to include headings so readers can easily find information, such as funeral arrangements.
Be Specific
You’ll want to ensure each request within the letter is specific. Rather than ‘I would like attendees to donate to a charity’, you could say ‘I would like attendees to donate to Cancer Research UK in lieu of flowers’.
Date and Sign
You’ll need to date and sign the letter. This letter helps those carrying out your wishes, such as arranging your funeral. Unlike a will, it does not need witnesses. If you did get it signed by witnesses it might be mistaken for a will or codicil.
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Common Mistakes to Avoid in a Letter of Wishes
There are some common mistakes people make when writing a letter of wishes. Be sure to avoid these:
Confusing statements, requests or contradict your will
Change in requests and failing to update letter
Believing the letter is legally binding
Assuming the contents of the letter will remain private
Frequently Asked Questions
Can a letter of wishes override a will?
A letter of wishes cannot override a will. However, the document should not contradict your will. This might open up to disputes with beneficiaries which you’ll want to avoid. Hiring a solicitor to view your letter is recommended.
How often should I update my letter?
You should ideally update your letter if your wishes change. It's advised you keep your will to hand when drafting so you don’t contradict anything previously stated. You may also find it necessary to rewrite your letter if you get a new will drafted.
What happens if my letter conflicts with my will?
From a legal perspective, your will supersedes your letter of wishes. However, disputes may arise, particularly if your letter is dated well after the will was drafted. This is why it's important to do the two documents at the same time. You can then have a solicitor look at both documents.
Who can help me write a letter of wishes?
As it will contain private information you should try to write the letter yourself. Whilst it does not require the need for a solicitor to draft, if you are unable to write one yourself, you might feel it's necessary to do so.
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Choose an Estate Planning Service
The letter of wishes is an important part of estate planning. It can help avoid conflicts by providing clarity to your loved ones.
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